What Business Does a Forty-Something-Year-Old Man Have on a BJJ Mat?
It is an interesting experience to be struggling to fill my lungs. It was my second-ever class, and the techniques I was taught moments ago had failed me. In reality, I had probably failed to properly execute them since I had no idea what I was doing. As a 200-pound man continued to smother me with his body, I conducted a mental checklist of my limbs and confirmed that only one hand was still mobile but unable to help me move the hulk of a man off of me.
I had little option but to slap the mat a couple of times, ending the rolling session.
As the class ended, I dragged my battered body off the mat; each joint and muscle screamed at me in protest. Everything hurt, my groin was definitely pulled, and I was pretty sure there would be some new bruises tomorrow.
I was already looking forward to the next class.
Why Jiu-Jitsu?
Jiu-Jitsu is a ground-fighting martial art that employs grappling and submissions to defeat opponents rather than striking. A significant component of Jiu-Jitsu training is ‘live rolling,’ where students face off against each other, trying to gain dominant positions so they can force their opponent to tap out by using joint locks or chokes.
The part that drew me to it was that Jiu-Jitsu is a martial art where participants are forced into very uncomfortable situations to the point where they end up becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable. I have always thought our lives are too comfortable, and we all could benefit from a little controlled suffering from time to time.
Jiu-Jitsu is probably the best kind of controlled suffering.
I knew a little about Jiu-Jitsu already but what I discovered after spending almost a month training still surprised me.
I’ve Never Felt Better or Sorer
Walking to my truck after class, I felt terrific. I was drenched in sweat, tired, and my muscles were not happy with me, but I had a post-workout high like no other. It wasn’t a one-time thing either. Thus far, I have felt fantastic after every class, sometimes so wired and full of adrenaline that I had trouble falling asleep.
I’m no stranger to exercise. I was a soldier, ran half marathons, did a few triathlons, and try to get exercise reasonably regularly. It is true when people say that no one finishes a workout feeling worse than when they started, but the feeling after a Jiu-Jitsu class is something different.
That being said…
The next morning can, at times, be a little rough. As well as the mornings after that. To be truthful, I have been constantly sore since I started this journey. The soreness is good. It’s that soreness I get after a good workout where I know that my muscles are rebuilding themselves, resulting in a more robust, faster version of myself.
No One is Too Old to Practice Jiu-Jitsu
In the past month, I’ve seen students as young as 13 (who happened to be my eldest son) up to guys in their sixties. Many of the men in my class are around my age, and it’s good to see old guys like me are capable of keeping up with guys half their age.
There is a definite difference between rolling with a 20-year-old and any of us in our forties and above. When I roll with someone my age, we exchange grunts and groans as the various sore spots and old injuries get battered, crushed, stretched, and beaten. On the other hand, the guys in their twenties seem almost superhuman in their ability to roll without having their bad decisions from decades prior pop up to give them grief.
The Community is Amazing
Everyone I’ve met has been great. They are all helpful, supportive, and genuinely eager to see each other succeed. It’s rare these days to throw twenty people in a room together and see nothing but camaraderie, but that is precisely what I find at each Jiu-Jitsu class.
Maybe it is a bond forged in shared suffering, or perhaps it is the trust we have to place in the person we roll with that they won’t try to hurt us, or it could be that martial arts like Jiu-Jitsu attract a particular human who will strive to bring out the best in each other.
Whatever it is, I’m glad to have found this community.
You Get Real Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
I spent seven years as a soldier, where I learned how to deal with discomfort. In Jiu-Jitsu, I found a completely different definition of ‘uncomfortable.’
The standard reaction to being choked for most people is to panic and thrash about. However, in Jiu-Jitsu, I learned to stay calm and work a plan to get out of the situation before I get put to sleep. The same goes for when a 250+ pound human is on top of me, making it nearly impossible to take a full breath. I have become comfortable in these situations to the point where I see them as temporary problems to be solved rather than desperate struggles.
For most of us, having our personal space violated is a very uncomfortable situation that most individuals desperately try to avoid. When their space is violated, they move to regain their bubble.
Not so in Jiu-Jitsu.
We start rolling by physically grabbing each other and then going to the ground to get closer. There is no personal space in Jiu-Jitsu, and you have no choice but to get comfortable with it.
It Has Done Wonders for my Mental Health
I can’t remember when I felt so physically and mentally good. I’m walking a little taller, feel more confident and less anxious, shed a few stubborn pounds, have more energy, and feel good about myself.
I feel like I could take on the whole world.
Before Jiu-Jitsu, I carefully balanced my day job, family, and writing business to avoid burning out again. I’ve had to be conscious of how much stress I’m introducing and my workload. I know my mental limits and have been very careful to steer clear of them.
Even though I’ve added another ball to the juggling act, it has somehow made it much easier to keep them all in the air. As a result, I feel better prepared to take on all the responsibilities of life and be the man my family deserves. Maybe Jiu-Jitsu is only an outlet to expend whatever nervous energy builds up, but even so, I can’t think of a better way to clear my mind than rolling.
I’ve learned that checking in on our mental health is critical for all of us, and since I started Jiu-Jitsu, I’ve seen nothing but good things each time I’ve checked in with myself.
I can’t say that I couldn’t get the same results from another type of exercise, but I know that right now, I feel amazing and am excited to attend each class.
My Kids Love it too
I never thought that my boys would take to Jiu-Jitsu as they have. Granted, my thirteen-year-old is too cool to let anyone know he enjoys anything and would rather play Call of Duty all day, but once he is on the mat, he is genuinely excited to be there.
He has chosen to take up kickboxing as his focus, probably because there are girls in the kickboxing classes, but he still joins me for no-gi jiu-jitsu once a week. I roll with him each class so he knows his dad can still make him tap out.
When I watch my ten-year-old’s class, I hear him giggling as he’s rolling with the other students. Then, when I ask him what he learned, he excitedly tells me that he will show me on Sunday when it’s an open mat. He also occasionally takes a kickboxing class, which he seems to enjoy.
One of the advantages of the three of us learning some martial arts is that we can always practice kickboxing on the heavy bag in the garage or run through some submissions on the living room rug.
I’m sure they’ll get the same benefits I have from this pursuit, and if so, they will become better men because of it. At the very least, they’ll have a few tools at their disposal if they end up face-to-face with someone who wants to hurt them.
Final Thoughts
I can’t say that Jiu-Jitsu will be a lifelong pursuit. Life happens; inevitably, other obligations may be bumped ahead of rolling on a BJJ mat, and that is ok. What I can say is that I am happy to have the privilege of learning this art, and even though I’m sure I’ll never become a black belt, I’m still gaining more than I could measure by training Jiu-Jitsu.
